Hello and welcome back on this wonderful Friday!
Today is our last post of September. Come next week the preparations for NaNoWriMo begin. Because of this quickly approaching November event I know a lot of writers start to doubt themselves. I’m guilty of this as well and I’m here to share with you the way I personally overcome this self doubt and keep myself moving forward.
A little known fact about me is that I got my start in writing by writing fanfiction. I’ll never forget my time where my fanfiction was my entire focus and it really helped me grow and realize writing was my passion. One of the best things about this was the fact that I could keep my identity a secret while still doing what I loved.
As I moved past writing fanfiction and made my original work my focus something seemed to change. I no longer felt that carefree attitude that allowed me to write whatever I wanted. I suddenly felt as though the world were judging every move I made and my creativity suffered for it.
In all honesty joining the Writing Community only made things worse. There I found people who, I felt, were vastly more talented than me and further along in their journey as well. It made my dream feel that much further away but I kept at it.
In the end I’m glad I didn’t throw in the towel right there and then. My stubbornness forced me to keep going and because of that I remained in the Writing Community, because of that I was able to realize that there were more people out there like me than I realized. There are a myriad of other writers fighting to make their dreams come true, all of whom feel like they’re in last place in this authorly race. It was in that moment that so much fell into place for me.
Once I stopped worrying about how far behind everyone else I was or the fact that there were people more skilled than me, I was able to focus on my writing the way it deserved. Of course there were people with more skill than me and there always would be. As far as being further behind everyone else, that was a ridiculous thought as well because everyone is in a different place in their journey, none of us do anything the same way. Once I accepted that I could breathe a little easier but there was still one last hurtle to over come.
I had never quite been able to shake the feeling of the world watching me as I struggled my way through this adventure. Actually it wasn’t until I started writing with someone and we would share our work back and forth that this became less of an issue for me.
In the end I realized that no one is watching me but myself. There was no one but me passing judgement on whatever moves I made to make my dream a reality. After so many years of feeling crushed under the wait of expectation, I realized that it was my own expectation holding me back. From there I was able to work with myself instead of against and starting making a serious dent in my work.
This journey still isn’t an easy one, there are days where I feel like a fool for thinking my work is good enough for anything more than fanfiction but the good news is, those days pass and my stories continue on. If there’s something about my story that needs to be changed then it can always be changed during editing. No one but me and the select few I allow to read it are reading it and thus there is no longer that pressure of perfection for a first draft.
My point in this story is this:
You are your own worst enemy on this journey. There is nothing holding you back but yourself. Don’t let the bad days keep you from seeing the good ones. You can do this but only if you believe in yourself.
It’s okay to ask for help or to look for a kindred spirit in the Writing Community to share your woes with but never give up on yourself my friends. The world needs your story.
Until next week!
✿ Happy reading and writing to all and to all a good day ✿
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